New Justice System that fast-tracks a Guilty Verdict makes everything Lovely

BREAKING NEWS - DAILY SCARE EXCLUSIVE

The government today announced forthcoming sweeping changes to the British Justice System. 

The changes are designed to eliminate slows occasioned by the current need for unnecessary inconveniences such as so-called “proof” or “evidence” and will enable HMG to fast-track a guilty verdict without anyone having to think too much, which as you know can be quite tiring.



A government spokesperson from the Ministry of Fibs explained: “When you talk about evidence or proof, you are asking Her Majesty’s Government to resort to facts. Facts as you know can be used to prove anything, especially the truth, and there is no room, for that kind of extremism in the modern justice system – or indeed in anything we have anything to do with.”

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